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TJMC-UU FRIDAY EVENING COVENANT GROUP 1-2-04

TRANSFORMATION

DINNER 6:15-7:00 (45 minutes)

CHALICE LIGHTING/OPENING WORDS (2 min.) - "The Layers", Stanley Kunitz

I have walked through many lives,
some of them my own,
and I am not who I was,
though some principle of being
abides, from which I struggle
not to stray.

When I look behind,
as I am compelled to look
before I can gather strength
to proceed on my journey,
I see the milestones dwindling
toward the horizon
and the slow fires trailing
from the abandoned camp-sites,
over which scavenger angels
wheel on heavy wings.

Oh, I have made myself a tribe
out of my true affections,
and my tribe is scattered!
How shall the heart be reconciled
to its feast of losses?

In a rising wind
the manic dust of my friends,
those who fell along the way,
bitterly stings my face.
Yet I turn, I turn,
exulting somewhat,
with my will intact to go
wherever I need to go,
and every stone on the road
precious to me.

In my darkest night,
when the moon was covered
and I roamed through wreckage,
a nimbus-clouded voice
directed me:
"Live in the layers,
not on the litter."

Though I lack the art
to decipher it,
no doubt the next chapter
in my book of transformations
is already written.
I am not done with my changes.

CHECK-IN (8 min): What's been going on for me since we met? How am I right now?

TOPIC (56 minutes): TRANSFORMATION. First round, 3-4 min ea. w/ Talking Stick. Next round--open, sharing the time, Principles in mind. Questions if and as you like:

What has been the most transformative experience or process of change in my life? What was I like before it? Looking back now, in what ways am I different as a result? Have there been dark and light sides to my
transformation? How would I describe them?

CHECK-OUT (5 min.) How was this meeting for you? What will you "take away"?

CLOSING WORDS - Heraklietos of Ephesos

-Whoever wishes to know about the world must learn about it in its particular details.
-Knowledge is not intelligence.
-In searching for the truth be ready for the unexpected.
-Change alone is unchanging.
-The same road goes both up and down.
-The beginning of a circle is also its end.
-Not I, but the world says it: all is one.
-And yet everything comes in season.

(extinguish Chalice)

HOUSEKEEPING (5 minutes)

1) Who hosts next meeting?

2) Issues? Needs?

DESSERT

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COVENANT GROUPS--PRINCIPLES

1. Respect the Talking "Stick". One person at a time, no interruptions, comments, questions during check-in and first round on topic. After first round, conversation can flow, or anyone can pick up the Stick again.

2. "I" Statements. Make "I" statements whenever possible. (I feel, I thought, I noticed…instead of "you…")

3. Active Listening. Focus on deep, receptive listening from your heart. (The opposite? Listening with one ear while your mind races to analyze, formulate a response, your next comment, a "solution", etc.)

4. Double Confidentiality. A) Respect our Covenant to privacy for shared information and don't share it outside the group. B) Don't bring up the subject with this member outside the group without first asking.

5. Avoid advice-giving.

--May ask clarifying questions

--Speaker may ask for advice (but if s/he doesn't specifically say this, don't give it)

6. Share time. So everyone who wishes to may speak.

7. Holding Silences. Let something deep or sensitive settle into your heart for a few moments, rather than rushing to respond, soothe, or echo.

8. Covenant. Commit to come regularly, commit to share, commit to enjoy.