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TJMC-UU FRIDAY EVENING COVENANT GROUP 11-7-03

THE LONG HELLO: PART TWO

DINNER 6:30-7:15 (45 minutes)

CHALICE LIGHTING & OPENING WORDS (1 minute) - Kathleeen McTigue

We come together…to remind one another

To rest for a moment on the forming edge of our lives,

To resist the headlong tumble into the next moment,

Until we claim for ourselves awareness and gratitude,

Taking the time to look into one another's faces

And see there communion: the reflection of our own eyes.

This house of laughter and silence, memory and hope,

Is hallowed by our presence together.

CHECK-IN (5 minutes)

What has been going on for me since we met last, and how am I doing right now?

TOPIC (56 minutes): THE LONG HELLO (Part Two): The "Next Half" of My Life

Each take 7 minutes (1 this time to give Estelle a brief rundown of your "first half" decades--won't hurt the rest of us to hear it again). For the next decades, consider any:

What were the main events or insights of this decade in your life?

Who was the greatest influence on you?

What lessons, positive or negative, do you "take away" from that period?

What are some of your best or most meaningful memories?

The hardest or more challenging?

What was your religious or spiritual experience in these decades?

FUTURE TOPIC TALK (8 minutes):

Tell us your 6 favorite topics, from the list or from the ether.

CHECK-OUT (5 minutes)

How was this meeting for you? What will you "take away" until we meet again?

CLOSING WORDS (1 minute) -  James A. Hobart

As we depart one from another, let our hearts be secure through every human season.

Let our hearts be secure in seasons of anguish as in seasons of joy,

in seasons of failure as in seasons of success,

in seasons of uncertainty as in seasons of security.

Let our hearts be secure in this dual reality:

we are worthy recipients of love and support we can never earn,

and we are worthy providers of love and support others cannot earn.

Let our hearts be secure, for hearts know and understand

and will respond if invited in.

(extinguish Chalice)

HOUSEKEEPING (5 minutes)

1) Who hosts next meeting?

3) Issues? Needs?

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COVENANT GROUPS--PRINCIPLES REVIEW

1. Respect the Talking "Stick". One person at a time, no interruptions, comments, questions during check-in and first round of sharing on topic. After the first round, conversation can flow, or if anyone wants to, we can pick up the Stick again. Why the Stick? It helps check the extrovert, and supports the shy.

2. "I" Statements. Make "I" statements whenever possible. (I feel, I thought, I noticed…instead of "you…")

3. Active Listening. Focus on deep, receptive listening from your heart. (The opposite? Listening with one ear while your mind races to analyze, formulate a response, your next comment, a "solution", etc.)

4. Double Confidentiality. A) Respect our Covenant to privacy for shared information and don't share it outside the group. B) Don't bring up the subject with this member outside the group, for example in coffee hour, without first asking, "do you mind if I say something about what you brought up in Covenant Group?" (Remember: it's okay to say "Sure, I feel like talking." And it's just as okay to say, "Thanks, but I'd rather save it.")

5. Avoid advice-giving.

--May ask clarifying questions

--Speaker may ask for advice (but if s/he doesn't specifically say this, don't give it)

6. Share time. So everyone who wishes to may speak.

7. Holding Silences. Let something deep or sensitive settle into your heart for a few moments, rather than rushing to respond, soothe, or echo.

8. Covenant. Commit to come regularly, commit to care and share, commit to enjoy.