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TJMC-UU FRIDAY EVENING COVENANT GROUP 10-24-03

THE LONG HELLO: PART ONE

Dinner 6:30-7:00

CHALICE LIGHTING & OPENING WORDS (1 minute) [adapted] Burton Carley

--I do not know if the seasons remember their history or if the days and nights by which we count time remember their own passing.

--I do not know if the oak tree remembers its planting or if the pine remembers its slow climb toward sun and stars.

--I do not know if the squirrel remembers last fall's gathering or if the bluejay remembers the meaning of snow.

--I do not know if the air remembers October or if the night remembers the moon.

--I do not know if the earth remembers the flowers from last spring or if the evergreen remembers that it shall stay so.

--Perhaps that is the reason for our births -- to be the memory for creation.

--Perhaps salvation is something very different than anyone ever expected. Perhaps this will be the only question we will have to answer: "What can you tell me about October?"

COVENANT GROUPS--PRINCIPLES (8 minutes--Laura)

1. The Talking Witch. One person speaks at a time, no interruptions, comments, questions during check-in and first round of sharing on topic. After the first round, conversation can flow, or if anyone wants to, we can pick up the Witch again. Why the Witch? It helps check the garrulous (like me), and supports the shy.

2. "I" Statements. Make "I" statements whenever possible. (I feel, I thought, I noticed…instead of "you…")

3. Active Listening. Focus on deep, receptive listening from your heart. (The opposite? Listening with one ear while your mind races to analyse, formulate a response, your next comment, a "solution", etc.)

4. Double Confidentiality. A) Respect our Covenant to privacy for shared information and don't share it outside the group. B) Don't bring up the subject with this member outside the group, for example in coffee hour, without first asking, "do you mind if I say something about what you brought up in Covenant Group?" (Remember: it's okay to say "Sure, I feel like talking." And it's just as okay to say, "Thanks, but I'd rather save it.")

5. Avoid advice-giving.

--May ask clarifying questions

--Speaker may ask for advice (but if s/he doesn't specifically say this, don't give it)

6. Share time. So everyone who wishes to may speak.

7. Holding Silences. Let something deep or sensitive settle into your heart for a few moments, rather than rushing to respond, soothe, or echo. It can make you squirm at first

--glad to demonstrate, I'm a squirmer. It doesn't mean "don't talk"--we'll talk a lot!

8. Covenant. Commit to come regularly, commit to care and share, commit to enjoy.

CHECK-IN (8 minutes)

For our first Check-In, each take 1 minute to tell us your name, what brought you to this Covenant Group, and what you would most like to experience here.

For our regular meetings, it'll be more telling the group: what has been going on for me since we met last, and how am I doing right now?

TOPIC (55 minutes): THE LONG HELLO (Part One): The First Half of My Life

[age 1-10, 10-20, 20-30, etc…] Each take 6-7 minutes. Answer any if helpful:

What were the main events or insights of that time in your life?

Who was the greatest influence on you?

What lessons, positive or negative, do you "take away" from that period?

What are some of your best or most meaningful memories?

The hardest or more challenging?

What was your religious or spiritual experience in these decades?

CHECK-OUT (8 minutes)

How was this meeting for you? What will you "take away" until we meet again? Each take one minute to share any parting thoughts that come to mind….

CLOSING WORDS (1 minute) -  Michael A. Schuler

--We have reached the end of this time
For the gathering of memory
--And for letting the imagination play with future possibilities.
We have enjoyed magic moments
--And edified each other.
Shall it be concluded, then?

--Or will this adventure, now commenced, continue --
Our separate paths converging, meeting, merging
--In the unending quest for love more perfect,
The joyous struggle for meaning more sufficient
--And life more abundant.

Is this ending to be an ending,
--Or merely prelude to new, more glorious beginnings?
I pose the question;
--In your hearts lies the answer.

(extinguish Chalice)

HOUSEKEEPING (9 minutes)

1) Menu assignment volunteer.

2) Who hosts next meeting?

3) Issues? Needs?