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TJMC-UU FRIDAY EVENING COVENANT GROUP 1-16-04
SEASONS OF
LIFE: AGING
DINNER 6:15-7:00 (45 minutes)
CHALICE LIGHTING/OPENING WORDS (2 min.) - Jerald Winakur
--And now you sleep in the bed left over
from your first marriage, tucked
into the only room of this old farmhouse
that's warm when the wind comes
from the north.
--These walls are paper thin & mice live
within them and bigger things in the attic
where I have yet to go.
--There are children of ours somewhere in the world
older than we were at our first unions.
--The lake is almost dry from the drought
and the old garden is nothing but weeds
and the rock walls are falling down
and the barn is red from rust more than paint.
--And we gave it all up for this:
that bluebirds will find the box you helped me
nail to the fencepost across the field from
the kitchen window;
--that the martins will nest in the house atop
the pole you held as I hoisted all the way up;
that the thistles will be fewer next spring
now that we have wrestled so many out of the ground;
--that another year like another season
will never be enough
until it is over.
CHECK-IN (8 min): What's been going on for me since we met? How am I right now?
TOPIC (56 minutes): SEASONS OF LIFE: AGING. First round, 3-4 min each w/ Talking Stick. Next round--open, sharing time, Principles in mind. Questions as you like:
What are your
deepest concerns about getting older?
If there is a
spiritual dimension to your thoughts about aging, would you describe it?
What have you learned from this culture about aging? What is your response?
Has there been any unexpected realization about age that has surprised you?
How do you feel about getting older in the context of community?
CHECK-OUT (5 min.) How was this meeting for you? What will you "take away"?
CLOSING WORDS - C. D. Wright
"in our only time"
"Follow me," the voice, the long, longed-for voice stops
the writing hand. "I have your shoes." Except
for a rotating fan, movement at a minimum. The plan,
if one can call it a plan, is to begin in what is known
to some as the perennial present; beginning
with a few sentences written in a kitchen while others
cling to their own images in twisted sheets of heat.
A napkin floats from a counter in lieu of a letter. Portals
of the back life part in silence: o verge
of song, o big eyelets of daylight. Leaving milk and bowl
on the table, leaving the house discalced. All this
mystery, mildly erotic. Even if one is terrified
of both death and the color red. Even if a message is sent
each of us in secrecy, no one can make it stay.
Notwithstanding scale—everything has its meaning,
every thing matters; no one a means, everyone an end
(extinguish Chalice)
HOUSEKEEPING (5 minutes)
1) Who hosts next meeting?
2) Issues? Needs?
DESSERT
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COVENANT
GROUPS--PRINCIPLES
1. Respect the Talking
"Stick". One person at a time, no interruptions, comments,
questions during check-in and first round on topic. After first round,
conversation can flow, or anyone can pick up the Stick again.
2. "I"
Statements. Make "I" statements whenever possible. (I feel, I
thought, I noticed…instead of "you…")
3. Active Listening.
Focus on deep, receptive listening from your heart. (The opposite? Listening
with one ear while your mind races to analyze, formulate a response, your next
comment, a "solution", etc.)
4. Double
Confidentiality. A) Respect our Covenant to privacy for shared information
and don't share it outside the group. B) Don't bring up the subject with this
member outside the group without first asking.
5. Avoid advice-giving.
--May ask clarifying questions
--Speaker may ask for advice (but if s/he doesn't specifically
say this, don't give it)
6. Share time. So
everyone who wishes to may speak.
7. Holding Silences.
Let something deep or sensitive settle into your heart for a few moments,
rather than rushing to respond, soothe, or echo.
8. Covenant. Commit
to come regularly, commit to share, commit to enjoy.