Approximate Agenda for Covenant
Group (Meeting #1)
DINNER (6:30-7:00 PM)
INTRODUCTION TO OUR COVENANT GROUP’S “RULES” (7:00-7:15 PM)
(See attached page)
LIGHTING OF THE CHALICE (7:15-7:17):
“It is a
blessing to be.
It
is a blessing to be here.
It
is a blessing to be here, now.
It a blessing to be here now, together.
May it be so again.”
(source unknown)
CHECK-IN (<2 minutes each à 7:17-7:40)
MAIN TOPIC (7:40 – 8:10)
OPENING THOUGHTS FROM EACH MEMBER (<2 minutes each à 7:40-8:00)
“OPEN” DISCUSSION (8:00-8:10)
What do each of us hope to attain from Covenant Group? What do we need to know about each other in order to accomplish this covenanting? (Tell a bit about your background and who you are (especially apart from your job).)
CHECK-OUT (<1 minute each à 8:10-8:20)
CLOSING WORDS (8:20)
“If
it is language that makes us human, one half of language is to listen. Silence can exist without speech, but speech
cannot live without silence. Listen to
the speech of others. Listen even more
to their silence. To pray is to listen
to the revelations of Nature, to the meaning of events. To listen to music is to listen also to
silence - and to find the stillness deepened and enriched.”
- Jacob Trapp
So that everyone in the Covenant Group can experience what a “normal” Covenant Group meeting is like before being asked to pick topics on their own, Al & Sandy would like to suggest the following topic for next time:
“Timelines”: For each decade in your life, briefly summarize a lesson you learned or something memorable that happened to you. After hearing from everyone, we’ll discuss patterns and overall lessons.
As part of the
“Covenant” which binds us together, we agree to abide by the following Rules:
1. We will demonstrate our commitment by attending the twice monthly group meetings for 6 months, and by keeping our minds and spirits fully focused on each other while we are meeting.
2. “Double Confidentiality”
a) What we hear within this group is confidential, and is never to be repeated to anyone.
b) What someone says during a group meeting should not be discussed by group members outside the meeting, unless the member who said it agrees to the discussion.
3. Since everything said in Group is confidential, every member is expected to speak openly, from the heart. We each must try to speak using “I” statements, meaning we must try to avoid speaking in generalities or over-quoting experts. Other members of the group care less about what the Buddha said than about what YOU feel right now, we care less how Victor Frankl dealt with his adversities than with how YOU are dealing with yours.
4. Even during disagreements, we will continue to show our respect for one another. There will be no “put-downs”, verbal or otherwise.
5. We each agree to learn and to practice “active listening”. When a member is speaking, they will have the full attention of the group, and will not be interrupted. We will try to learn not to be forming a response while listening, because otherwise it becomes easy to miss some of what the speaker is communicating. (We sometimes will use a “talking stick” to enforce active listening. Even when the stick is not in use, count silence for a minimum of 5 seconds before assuming the floor has been yielded.)
6. Every member has the right to “pass” if they do not wish to speak when it is their turn. However, no one need feel too shy to speak. We are here because we value what we can become by learning from every individual in the group.
7. Covenant group is not meant to be a therapy group, or an intellectual discussion group. It is an agreement between a small group of people to meet on a regular basis in order to
a) share spiritual struggles and growth,
b) explore areas of common interest via meaningful interaction, and
c) thereby develop deeper and more intimate connections both within the group and within our broader lives.
8. Facilitators are not leaders, and are not in charge. Every group member should have an equal sense of responsibility and ownership of this group. Facilitators and apprentices are fluid roles intended and needed solely to ensure the efficient flow of the group as a whole.
9. At some point, we may consider finding and performing a “Service Project”, hopefully one which draws us all even closer together by expressing our dedication to “Deeds not Creeds”.
10. This covenant is between each of us, and to the group as a whole.