Thomas Jefferson Memorial Church - Unitarian Universalist

February marks the half-way point in our interim ministry together. Over the past five months, you have completed the time-line exercise in which you posted sticky notes with your assessments of events in the church’s life. Were the events ones that made you proud of your church? Or were they events that made you disappointed in your church? These are important questions, and the homilies by the Transition Team spoke directly to them. Those homilies are in written form on the TJMC-UU website, so even if you missed the service when they were delivered, you can still read them. I hope you will do so, even if you did hear the Team’s homilies.

Next, the Transition Team and I sought your input for the Congregational Covenant of Healthy Relations. We asked you to write down the promises that you wish to make to the congregation (the yellow index cards) and the promises that you wish others in the congregation would make to you (the blue index cards). Thanks to the many of you who participated in this effort to get your ideas. By the time you read this newsletter, the Covenant will have been unveiled, and your promises will be clearly before you. The more difficult time now begins when you put the covenant into practice, when you use the covenant to guide you in your relations with others.

To help TJMC-UU address the way congregants treat each other and its staff, I have asked Rev. Ed Piper to consult with the congregation. Most likely, his consultation will take place in February since he has just completed his refresher training as a member of the District’s Healthy Congregations Task Force. Ed will offer some new perspectives on the reasons why congregants treat one another and staff in ways that are        not healthy—triangulating, gossiping, crossing boundaries, speaking disrespectfully of one another—and some ways of counteracting such tendencies. TJMC-UU is a strong congregation; now the goal is to show strength in compassion and courage with one another.

In the faith, Janet Newman,

Your Interim Minister 2010-2011

First of all, best wishes for a healthy, productive, growth-filled, happy New Year!

This fall has been fruitful in opportunities for the members of the congregation to communicate with one another. You offered your responses about events that occurred in the church by means of the time-line and sticky notes in the Gallery during September and October.

Until recently the same walls displayed the notes taken during the Cottage Conversations that took place from mid-October to mid-November. Having an opportunity to speak to each o t h e r about membership ’ s responsibilities brought a cornucopia of opinions. Your responses, twenty-two pages worth, are available to read.

Certainly the setting for the conversations in various homes and at the church made for a comfortable space for listening to each other – and that was good since the topic of funding the congregation is so uncomfortable for many.

As for me, I enjoy talking about money in church because generosity in giving grows out of generosity of spirit; even the person who has very little can be generous according to his/her means.

When we discuss money in church we find some common topics that arise:

a) The sense of belonging and community that comes to those who contribute generously to the congregation, or perhaps,

b) The importance of donating to the best of our ability so that the church thrives over the long term as it was bequeathed to us by the founders, or perhaps,

c) The need to fund our liberal religious witness in a suffering world.

Try talking about money and generosity. I think you will like it!

Happy holiday greetings,

Janet E. Newman

The December holidays are almost upon us. I am always on the look-out for bits of advice and wisdom about how to survive the festive times; I know that for many of us, they are anything but festive and can be trying.

Here are some suggestions that I have developed for myself through the years.

Too often we are trapped by our own impossible expectations of ourselves and of others. We want to find the “perfect” gift for someone or else our holidays are ruined. And, at the same time, we are worried that loved ones are spending too much time looking for the “perfect” gift for us! Not to mention spending too much money.

Suggestion: lighten up. There is no such thing as perfection; what matters is that we gave some thought to the person and what he or she might like. It is the relationship that really counts, not the cost.

Another suggestion that helps me through this time of year: enjoy the “small stuff.”

I find that the simplicity of a single strand of lights or a candle in the windows of a house as I pass by is enough to lift my spirits and make me realize the beauty of the season. Even better, I like to get a good whiff of Christmas trees in the sales lots outdoors and take home some boughs to decorate with.

I look forward to reading Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol again and seeing the film versions of the story from 1937 and 1951, as well as the updated versions on stage and screen.

Small stuff, all of it, but it helps me enjoy the season.

So to all of us: Have a wonderful holiday season and a very happy new year!

Janet Newman,

Your Interim Minister for 2010-11

What a great time of year to be in Virginia! Leaves underfoot, color in the trees, clear skies, crisp nights and warm days — who could ask for anything more? Happy Thanksgiving, all.

About the Timeline Project, the first congregational task of Interim Ministry: The Transition Team and I are presently analyzing your postings on the timeline wall – events in church life that made you proud of the congregation, events in which you were disappointed in your church, and your hopes and dreams for the church. On Sunday, November 14, the Team and I will respond to you with a series of homilies based on the material you provided via your stickie notes. I hope you took the opportunity to let us know your views because this was a chance for you to honor your past achievements and acknowledge your difficulties.

What is next? Another important congregational task during the Interim Ministry period is that you continue your quest for a new identity by crafting your own Covenant of Healthy Relations. The present “Guiding Statement for Covenanting” is nearly twelve years old, and it is time to examine it carefully with the idea of updating it.

I will be speaking again in November about the reason for congregational covenants, but for now, think of a covenant as a set of guidelines of how you treat one another as you work together toward the fulfillment of your mission in the world. Want examples? Ask anyone who participates in a Covenant Group. A covenant answers the question: How do I agree to treat others, and how do I want others to treat me?

Soon, the Transition Team and I will provide you with color-coded cards for your mutual promises. Be sure to participate; all of you are essential for a good outcome!

Janet E. Newman

Accredited Interim Minister

now serving you at TJMC-UU

You may have noticed the sticky notes in various colors posted on the walls of the Gallery between the Sanctuary and the Social Hall. Please take a few minutes to “walk the wall” and then gather some post-its yourself and write down your own reflections on this church’s events or decisions through the years. Some of them made you proud of your church (a pink post-it indicates “proud”) or those that made you disappointed in your church (a green post-it indicates “grumpy”).

Do not have much or any time with the church? Be sure to go to the wall beside the windows, take some yellow post-its, and write your hopes and dreams for this church (a yellow post-it indicates “Yes, we can!”) Even on your first Sunday here, you can contribute valuable insights on your yellow postits. All congregants are invited to do so.

After a few more weeks, the Transition Team and I will ponder the messages you wrote to see if there are patterns. A series of homilies by the Team and me will follow in due time.

I urge you to take advantage of this opportunity to express your thoughts and feelings in an anonymous but civil way so that all may benefit from your insights.

Recently I figured out a way to return some of the funds that the Board budgeted for my benefits this year. The Board chose to pay me for the employer’s share of FICA (Social Security), or 7.65% of my salary. However, I can make up that money when I file my tax return on schedule SE. So I returned the funds that were budgeted for my FICA to the church. Elsewhere in this newsletter you will see what the Board did with the unanticipated $6,158.

See you in church!

Best wishes,

Janet E. Newman

Accredited Interim Minister